A good friend of mine recently commented that I'm brave. Brave?! It made me stop and think. And I can see that that's a change since my TBI.
Before my injury I wanted to fade into the background, I never wanted to attention to be on me. Even when frankly, I deserved to warrant it.
However since my TBI I just do it. But why is that? The second I fell down those steps, it changed my life. Career gone, independence gone, speech gone, ability to write gone.
Maybe now I feel as though I've (temporarily) lost so much, that what the hell. Why should I worry about the consequences of what I do now?
I've put photos showing what could be perceived as brave since my injury. What comes to my mind is being represented by the Agora Gallery in NYC. Going to Opening Nights, talking into their microphone, taking part in filming in the Gallery. How on earth did I have the confidence to do that?
Actually I didn't. I remember waiting in our digs just before setting off to my Gallery and feeling downright petrified. Paul trying to talk me down from my world ending feelings. Poor guy.
And letting Dominique Carton take photos of me while I painted - how?!
And providing artwork and writing a book with my friend Jo - how?!
And being interviewed over the phone by the Agora Gallery for their website - how?!
Maybe it's because I nearly died. That would have been the ultimate loss wouldn't it. But I didn't. So how horrifically awful could my life really get?
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